A new tradition?

Crude I know, but it was spur of the moment.

IN LIGHT OF recent announcements by various members of the LNP Cabinet, and given Prime Minister Scott (How Good’s Volunteering) Morrison’s attitude to the catastrophic events unfolding throughout the country, perhaps we could look at reworking some old traditions that have faded into obscurity and at the same time celebrate the Pentecostal PM’s famous pledge.

The once anticipated Cracker Night, Empire Night, Guy Fawkes Night – the name varied State by State – and associated mayhem have been replaced by organised, multi-million dollar spectacles aimed more at swelling corporate coffers and earning votes for politicians than celebrating tradition. Halloween has replaced them to a certain extent, but it’s not the same. I doubt kids today get as much as satisfaction out of playing dress-ups and begging as we did in using a gumnut bomb to demolish the letterbox of a detested local dignity.

In my home State, Western Australia, preparations began weeks before “Guy Fawkes Night” on November 5th. Kids scrounged cardboard, wood and anything else combustible, stacking the spoils anywhere they thought they could get away with a bonfire. Old clothes were snaffled and stuffed with rags and grass – with a last-minute addition of Penny Bungers if you were more solvent – and turned into a “Guy”, an effigy of the plotter of whom it was once said that he was the only man ever to enter Parliament with the right intention.

For a couple of weeks or so before the big night, groups of kids dragged their Guy around the streets chanting “Penny for the Guy; Penny for the Guy, Mister,” paying particular attention to barber shops, pubs and shop fronts behind which they knew the SP bookies lurked. Those pennies purchased supplementary cracker supplies.

So, here’s my plan. To mitigate the dangers associated with pyrotechnics and summers that thanks to the climate crisis are beginning ever earlier, we could recognise the Winter Solstice as Scott Morrison Day or, if you’d prefer, Pentecostal Eve, combining the temporal and the holier-than-thou.

On this day, in towns all over Australia, effigies of our hopefully former PM could be set aflame to chants of “Throw another Big Aussie Barbie on the Fire”.

After all, he did say he would burn for Australia.

IT'S OVER AT LAST

Scott Morrison announces the return of better times

The Prime Minister, Scott Morrison will today announce that the record drought is officially over.

Speaking from the basement at Kirribilli House, his official Sydney residence, Morrison said, “I have always believed in miracles, and today another one has manifested itself before me.”

The PM will make his welcome announcement later today in company with Ministers Angus Taylor and Matt Canavan, backbencher George Christensen and One Nation’s Malcolm Roberts. It is believed Deputy PM, Michael McCormack will later make an announcement from a safe house somewhere near Nyngan.

“I was praying last night that the world would herald our success at cutting greenhouse gas emissions by including reductions made under the Kyoto agreement, when the Lord spoke to me,” Morrison said.

“So today I will announce that I have instructed all relevant bodies to add surplus rainfall and flood heights from our wet years to the figures for 2018–19.”

“Thanks to my government’s initiative, the rivers will flow again and grateful farmers will be in full recovery mode.”

Asked about the toxic smoke pall covering Sydney, the PM said that his government was still struggling with Labor’s mishandling of the economy and that he did not respond to gossip.

“How good is creative accounting?” he said.

A Moral Verse for Quiet Australians

Hubble bubble, toil and trouble,
Turmoil in the Canberra bubble;
Angus Taylor, an MP,
Of note in Government Ministry,
Had pulled another little rort,
It seemed (at last) he had been caught.

But no, his tubby little frame,
Ablaze with Pentecostal flame,
The PM stood in Parliament,
His anger on the House to vent;
“This persecution has to stop,
“I’ve phoned my mate, New South’s top cop.

“And young Mick told me it’s a joke,
“That Angus is a bonzer bloke.
“And so, you Opposition jerks,
“Who claim he’s pulled a dozen perks,
“Ease up on Angus, that good man,
“Who likes his finger in the jam.”

How grand it is for us to be,
Living in democracy;
Where our national leader bold,
Has put our Parliament on hold;
And Coppers in another State,
Decide a Federal pollie’s fate.

PM or Pentecostal? Morrison can’t be both.

Holy Rollers and Jumpers come out,
And they roll and they jump and they shout;
‘Give your money to Jesus,’ they say,
‘You will eat on that glorious day’.

Chorus:
You will eat, by and by,
In that glorious land in the sky;
Hope and pray, live on hay,
You’ll get pie in the sky when you die.
—A verse and chorus from “Pie in the sky when you die”.
From the IWW song book, c. 1930s

At first glance it would seem that almost overnight we have found ourselves in the same political predicament as that in which the US became well and truly ensnared as the influence of the salvation-for-money preachers grew and grew. However, the net was cast long before that.

When in the 1890s Australia’s Constitution was being drafted, the churches began a campaign of petitions calling for prayers to be made part of the daily ritual of parliament, though they were not always used in the various colonial parliaments.

The adherence to the custom waxed and waned until the election of the Coalition government under John Howard in 1996, from which time the influence of extremist Christian doctrine seems to have increased. Visits to Hillsong – the largest, wealthiest and noisiest Pentecostal church in Australasia – by both Liberal treasurer Peter Costello and Labor leader Kevin Rudd during the 2007 election campaign suggest that both major parties were already feeling the need to pander to the Pentecostal movement. The rise to prime ministership of Scott Morrison, a practicing Pentecostal who has publicly professed his faith on more than one occasion including in the People’s Parliament, reinforces this view.

Now everyone is entitled to their faith and the practice thereof, no matter how bizarre it may appear to non-believers, there’s no arguing that. But when that faith impinges on human rights and the law of the land, then serious questions must be asked.  And Australian law often sides with human rights over religious or quasi-religious practice.

In 2018, a Victorian court ruled that the mother of a teenage girl could not refuse permission to allow blood transfusions for her pregnant daughter on the grounds that the procedure was forbidden by their religious cult, the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Many years before, a West Australian court had ruled in favour of a child whose Witness parents had forbidden it to receive the procedure that would save its life. And very few people of any faith would defend the right to mutilate young girls’ genitals on religious grounds; indeed, there are those who question the legitimacy of circumcision of male children as a religious practice.

However, we may soon find ourselves having to defend our long-cherished humanist approach. Recent court rulings in the USA have demonstrated the influence the noisy, cash-heavy minority of Fundamentalist and other related Christian sects – or cults, the distinction is blurred – can bring to bear on State legislatures in that country. Their Australian equivalent, their roots and philosophies largely in the US and with a fellow-traveller in the Prime Minister’s office, will soon find their voices.

Already, in what appears to be a rush to salvation for the sake of a seat in Parliament and good standing among the Christian extremists in the People’s House, the Deputy Prime Minister has assured farmers he prays for rain every day and exhorted us all to pray more often. Not to be outdone and with no apparent sense of the ironic, his predecessor has suddenly leaped to the defence of the righteous.

Referring to Israel Folau’s recent sacking by the NRL, Barnaby Joyce was quoted in The Age of May 29th as saying: “Your own views on who god is, where god is or whether there’s a god should remain your own personal views and not part of any contractual obligation.”

That is largely true, but the key word here is “personal”. Surely an employer has the right to insist an employee – or contractor – refrain from language or behaviour that might bring the organisation or business into disrepute? A reasonable adult might argue that you’d have to believe in hell – or a vengeful god for that matter – for Folau’s words to have any effect. But that argument doesn’t wash if you’re a vulnerable youngster.

On the surface, this might appear all froth and bubble, but it is far more sinister. We now have at our head a Prime Minister who, by his own affirmation, is a practicing Pentecostal, a believer in miracles, one whose tenets of faith include the belief that prosperity is a gift of the Pentecostal god and those who fail to prosper do so because that god has shunned them, and so are by definition ungodly.

As a Pentecostal, our new Prime Minister believes that he was chosen as such because it was divine will that he lead the nation. He also believes that drought and climate change are the result of his deity’s displeasure and therefore must be endured.

For a committed Pentecostal, the results of human inaction on the climate crisis are of no consequence; it is all part of the god’s plan and The true believer waits for the day when all will be swept away in preparation for the second coming and none but they will be saved. Protestant, Catholic, Muslim – no matter; all but Pentecostals will perish. And while they await “The Rapture”, the PM and other true believers in the Party and community will be showered with wealth and happiness, oblivious to the torments endured by the ungodly.

At the risk of being thought a cynic, perhaps Morrison may not really believe all this, perhaps he is just using the pretence of “faith” to further his worldly ambitions; after all, Christianity has long been honoured more in the breach than in the observance. And that, in some quarters, might be seen as even worse – religious fervour replaced by opportunistic hypocrisy on a grand scale.

Conversely, perhaps he dreams of a day when the Pentecostals rule the world, revelling in the prosperity of righteousness while the ungodly Opposition (and many in his own Party), the unsaved aged and infirm, the sinning disadvantaged and despairing writhe in the torments of the damned.

Of course, I may be misjudging the man. He may genuinely be “burning” to see us all saved – whether we want it or not – though I seriously doubt it, and even that breaches the convention governing separation of Church and State.

Whichever it may be, Morrison needs to let the country know. He is supposed to be governing for the majority, not some blessed elite.

A reply to The Other Side

I write a column for the Molong Expresshttp://www.molongexpress.com.au, the newspaper serving Molong and the other villages in the Cabonne Shire of New South Wales. On May 2nd, 2019, we printed an article titled Politicians again show “Real Genius“, and given the subtitle “The view from The Other Side” by me. Sent as an email by a reader, it was harshly critical of governments past and present, and of institutions responsible for the research that often influences government policy.

Prompted by questions from another reader, I carried out some research on sources used in the submitted piece and found that at least some of the statements made were to be found in an online blog by a Joanne Nova, the ‘author of the “Skeptics Handbook”, blogger and “libertarian”,’ and a supporter of the IPA, an ultra-conservative right-wing think tank, with aims as dubious as its published philosophies. Though Ms Nova would appear to agree that there is some degree of global warming, she believes that it is not nearly as serious as the overwhelming majority of scientists argue and that the rise will only be in the vicinity of 0.5°C. In her blogs, she often puts forward the view that the push to renewable energy is nothing but a money grab on the part of governments and some corporations.

Lack of an apostrophe and US spelling aside, “The Skeptics Handbook” raised alarm bells. How can anyone of scientific background (Ms Nova has degrees in, among other things, microbiology) dispute the findings of the overwhelming majority of the world’s climate scientists? Some of her comments also suggest that she believes in conspiracy theories, though whether or not she follows those who accuse NASA, China, the UN and a cartel of Jewish bankers of spreading fear of climate change to aid them in their quest or world domination is not known.

To anyone who cares to think about such things, to deny the scientific evidence on climate change is akin to denying that vaccination has saved millions of lives and untold suffering or believing that the world is under the covert control of a race of lizards from outer space who appear to humans as Jews. Before you spit out your cornflakes over that last statement, one candidate in the forthcoming election believes that it is so.

So, if you’ll bear with me, I’d like to go back to that article and look at some of the points it raises. The first was in connection to the reference to the then Whitlam Labor government’s plan to build a vast network of pipelines to carry gas from the North-West Shelf to every major city in Australia. Obviously it was something Ms Nova doesn’t agree with, something she has in common with the Liberal Party then led by Malcolm Fraser and the English government of the day, though the latter’s objections may have been based more on the fact that Whitlam’s government had said it was going to use loans arranged by “a mysterious Pakistani” (Nova’s words) rather than from a British institution.

Having blasted Whitlam and his government for daring to have a grand plan for Australia, Nova goes on to harshly criticise successive governments for not having one. Of course, all the reasons for Whitlam’s dismissal by the Crown will never be known until the relevant documents are released by Buckingham Palace, but Nova’s view does seem contradictory.

Ms Nova then goes on to criticise renewable energy and the transmission network, delivering “piddling amounts” of power and funded by raising foreign debt, while coal- and nuclear-powered generation plants go unbuilt. Apart from the environmental damage wrought by coal-powered plants and the risks to future generations posed by both, the time involved in building both types of power plant is an important factor. Years, if not decades are involved, by which time the social fabric and economy could be dissolving into chaos unless governments all over the world stop sitting on their hands while Earth undergoes changes on a scale unprecedented in human history.

She also bemoans the fact that no hydro-electric schemes have been built in recent years, and argues for more and bigger dams to trap water that otherwise would go to “irrigate distant oceans”. This is always popular with the proponents of the Bradfield scheme* and the dam-everything school, but it ignores the fact that water flowing into the oceans is not wasted; it is vital for maintaining the health of estuarine and coastal ecosystems. Fisheries depend on these systems to replenish stocks and to maintain inshore populations of species. Equally important, this run off is vital to the survival of mangroves, the first line of defence against storm-surges. Mangroves will become even more important as sea levels rise.

Also ignored is greed-induced blindness, something seemingly hard-wired into politicians and their corporate backers. No matter how many dams are built, or how much water and land are “available”, it will never be enough. Over-allocation of water and the associated cronyism and corruption will lead us exactly to where we now find ourselves, but on a larger scale.

Environmental advocates and Indigenous peoples cop a bit of criticism in the first paragraphs, but more of that later. Ms Nova also blames “Canberra and the states” for the protests against gas exploration – presumably referring to the Lock the Gate movement among others – ignoring the fact that these are people-based protests, often made as a direct result of governments’ pro-mining-at-all-costs policies.

She goes on to criticise the CSIRO for contributing to climate change hysteria and science generally for promoting gender-equality issues and green activism. Not only is this utter rot, it conveniently ignores the fact that under Tony Abbott’s ultra-conservative, anti-science government, the CSIRO was gutted of both funding and staff (as was the Antarctic Division), severely curtailing many of its research programs, climate study among them, and flying in the face of global trends. Abbott then allocated funding to cancer research (presumably “believable science”), a noble initiative but I suspect more in the hope that his name would forever be associated with a “silver bullet cure-all” while at the same time allowing him to deliver a kick in the guts to those involved in what he believes is the “crap science” of climate studies.

Now to Ms Nova’s concluding paragraph: “As Australia’s first people discovered, if today’s Australians lack the will or the knowledge to use our great natural resources, more energetic people will take them off us.”

It’s hard to ignore the racism inherent in this statement, racism also apparent in her reference to uranium deposits “sterilised by the Giant Rainbow Serpent”. Okay, perhaps she’s not racist and just believes Australia’s Indigenous peoples are lazy beings who practice a primitive religion that deifies mythical creatures. What about the recent outpouring of grief in the “energetic” and sophisticated Western world over the loss of a building representing a religious sect whose adherents practice ritual cannibalism, believe virgins can give birth and that people can rise from the dead.

And who are these “more energetic people” poised to seize our coal and uranium? Let me guess…the Chinese? The Indonesians? Well they’d better get a move on; giant global corporations with no loyalty to any particular country are already in there getting our resources out of the ground as fast as governments will allow. There seems a philosophy present in the corporate world that urges its adherents to make as much money as they possibly can before it all hits the fan. Are the few “energetic” people hoping their money will save them and the rest of us will have to cope as best we can?

Perhaps Ms Nova could revisit that last paragraph and alter it to read something like “As Australia’s first people discovered, the land in which we live is capricious and finely balanced. If today’s Australians lack the will or the knowledge to properly care for it, nature will take it from us.”

*The “Bradfield Scheme” was put forward in 1938 as a means of irrigating and “drought-proofing” arid regions of the Queensland and South Australian interiors. Involving damning and “turning back” of northern rivers, calculations were faulty and projections based on European models were unrealistic. Politicians are fond of extolling its virtues, especially when elections are held during periods of drought, as is now the case.

Miscellaneous Doggerelish

(These were hastily written at the 2016-17 Gulgong Folk Festival following the performance of a jingoistic ‘patriotic Australian’ song by a couple of Irish immigrants in the Commercial Hotel. The performance concluded with the modified Nazi salute beloved of the flag-wearing ratbags who now infest every ‘patriotic’ occasion from Anzac Day to Australia Day; from Christmas to the cricket. Worse still, it was greeted with roars of approval from the miners (it’s ‘their pub’ these days) who, from what I saw, are anti-everything old Gulgong. I can remember standing with my old friend, ex shearer, union delegate – and later, farmer – the late Lennie Norris, handing out how-to-votes during an election. He turned to me and sadly said: “I never thought I’d live to see coalminers votin’ for the National Party.” Incidentally, the Commercial has a footpath sign that reads. “Workies Hour Thursday, 5.00 to 6.00 pm (it may be 5.30 to 6.30 but the rest is accurate). Presumably the rest of Gulgong’s residents are not workies. Does this mean that older residents on pensions are not welcome either?

The new immigrants

 To think in our Australia
(The thought has my head a-swimmin’)
There’s blokes thinks it’s patriotic
To spit on Muslim women.

 

‘What about the workers?’ indeed, sir.

The pub of which I’ve spoke before,
It boasts a “Workies Hour”;
Each Thursday between 5 and 6,
It turned my stomach sour.

Is that where they go on Thursdays,
To spend their pay like nobs;
And gripe about the Muslims,
Who’ve taken all their jobs?

Where’s your flamin’ mateship gone,
The battlers of this world;
The Saleems and the Flanagans,
With the workers’ flag unfurled?

But you know what gets me boilin’
What really gets my goat?
You let that snide prick Murdoch,
Tell you how to vote.